A Few Good Geeks...

...Every City Council needs them to avoid looking foolish when technical problems arise. Unfortunately for the City of Tuttle, Oklahoma, they don't have any technophiles, just City Manager Jerry A. Taylor. He may have "22 years [of] computer systems engineering and operation [experience]," but not a single ounce of actual knowledge or common sense.

If you yearn to be a successful politician and world-renowned idiot like the illustrious Mr. Taylor, here are a few simple pointers to help get you started:

1. Notice a generic Apache/CentOS "This is an Apache server" message where you are used to seeing your quaint city homepage.
2. Assume your site has been hacked by a group of malicious hackers who call themselves "CentOS"
3. Email the CentOS development team threatening FBI action if they do not "Get this web site off my home page!!!!! It is blocking access to my website!!!!~!"
4. When CentOS dev team tries to help you, even though you're clearly a moron, threaten them some more.
5. After the CentOS team has researched the issue for you, tracked down the problem and even given you the information you need to remedy the issue yourself, retort with "It could have been resolved a lot quicker if the initial correspondence with you provided the helpful information that was transmitted in the last messages."
6. Get your entire correspondence posted on the Internet for the world to see.
7. Make local and international news with your stupidity.
8. Kiss babies or something.

May God bless America, we freaking need it.