Microsoft Fights Fire With Fire

Matt555 · 19-10-2005, 06:41 PM

In my Custom PC magazine there's an article, it's quite interesting and not too long so here it is.

Quote:

Microsoft is busy trying to shore up a PR disaster, as unofficial reports suggest the forthcoming Windows Vista 'might make PC's explode'. According to Linux Website www.bushybeards.org a new 'morality engine' will monitor your computer usage. If it detects unencrypted media files, images with too much 'visible flesh' or open-source code, it could set off a chain reaction between your graphics card and processor. A rapid increase in temperature will then spontaneously enrich some uranium and instigate a minor nuclear disaster in your PC.
Using a webcam, Windows Vista can search your room for pirated CD's, DVD's, pornography and Linux distrubutions. Bushybeards also reports that the final version will incorporate 'X-ray visualisation Technology' (XVT), capable of detecting morality infringements through solid objects, this will allow Microsoft to check up on your neighbours as well, and increase the explosive yeild accordingly.
However, XVT isn'tavailable in the current BETA Microsoft Windows PlatformMonopolist Pauline Brundle said "Isn't this just what you deserve if you're sharing files or using Linux? All PC users are evil by nature and need an operating system that treats them like the freeloading scum they are"

Just thought you guys and gals would like the hear about it, it's quite interesting, even if it is rather ridiculous...

Anti-Trend · 19-10-2005, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt555

Just thought you guys and gals would like the hear about it, it's quite interesting, even if it is rather ridiculous...

That's satire, clearly based upon the trusted computing initiative. Satire or no, it's not too far off from what MS is really doing. The EFF is very concerned about the implications of Trusted Computing, as well they should be.

Matt555 · 19-10-2005, 06:10 PM

What I said is satire?
I've never understood what the word meant, even when reading definitions there are many and they are often quite different...I've never been too good with English...is what you said a good or bad thing?
If it's bad then I apologise...

Anti-Trend · 19-10-2005, 06:30 PM

Satire is a form of straight-faced humor used to criticize or bemuse. Check out Wikipedia for a more detailed defenition. Whether or not it's good or bad, I'd say depends on your sense of humor.

But I just wanted to make it clear that it wasn't real news, but satirical mock news. Trusted computing is real though, and it is on our doorstep. And unless you don't want any say over what you do on your own PC, everyone should be concerned about it.

-AT

Matt555 · 19-10-2005, 06:33 PM

Ahh okay...

Willz · 19-10-2005, 08:40 PM

thats bad, count me out of getting vista >:I

Matt555 · 19-10-2005, 08:47 PM

If you had read what AT said, It isn't true and judging by the fact that www.bushybeard.org is no longer there I think it is a bit dodgy...

Willz · 19-10-2005, 08:48 PM

no, but if thise stuff does exist, count me out of using vista, i dont want to be banged up in a prison cell :o

and i dont want to loose my new graphics card after spending nearly £200 on it :*(

Matt555 · 19-10-2005, 08:52 PM

Highly unlikely it's going to happen, they can't 'blow up' people's computer because they have a Linux distro sitting around...or they have versions of Linux on their PC...i just hate whatPauline Brundle said
"Isn't this just what you deserve if you're sharing files or using Linux? All PC users are evil by nature and need an operating system that treats them like the freeloading scum they are"
Screw her, seriously I'm not no freeloading scum...and I'm not evil, seriously she needs to take a look around...

ninja fetus · 19-10-2005, 10:29 PM

i've never planned on vista anyway. i think it's a total waste of time, money, and computer resources. the recommended specs make me want to poop my pants.

Anti-Trend · 19-10-2005, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninja fetus

i've never planned on vista anyway. i think it's a total waste of time, money, and computer resources. the recommended specs make me want to poop my pants.

Sad, but well said. The majority of people will jump all over it, hoping it will fix the existing problems they're having with XP. Unfortunately, the bloated new 'features' will likely only serve to cause more problems. I'm just glad I migrated when I did. Bye Windows, don't miss 'ya.

Someone28624 · 20-10-2005, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anti-Trend

Sad, but well said. The majority of people will jump all over it, hoping it will fix the existing problems they're having with XP. Unfortunately, the bloated new 'features' will likely only serve to cause more problems. I'm just glad I migrated when I did. Bye Windows, don't miss 'ya.

Bye windows, trying not to miss you.

Fred · 20-10-2005, 06:06 AM

Yeah, I'd rather just build a system capable of running Vista, and have an overkill Linux box!

Anti-Trend · 20-10-2005, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fred

Yeah, I'd rather just build a system capable of running Vista, and have an overkill Linux box!

Dual-core AMD64, 2+gb RAM, 256mb+PCIE video, SATA2 in RAID-0 or 5... yeah, I'd say that'd be a pretty kickin' Linux rig.

Cyberwest · 10-11-2005, 09:34 PM

I really hate to tell you guys this, but that Microsoft story was pure fiction. It was part of a series called "If only it were true" which entirely consists of fictional news stories, like a guy modding his dog into a performance PC, how the Vatican has chosen ATi as its official graphics supplier, and how Nvidia SLI is actually ancient Egyptian technology. I just can't believe you've taken it this seriously.

19-10-2005, 06:10 PM	#3 (permalink) Top
Matt555 iMod Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Male Posts: 3,844 Times Helpful: 238 My Mood: Happy Status: Offline My Computer	What I said is satire? I've never understood what the word meant, even when reading definitions there are many and they are often quite different...I've never been too good with English...is what you said a good or bad thing? If it's bad then I apologise... __________________

19-10-2005, 06:30 PM	#4 (permalink) Top
Anti-Trend Nonconformist Geek Join Date: Oct 2003 Age: 27 Male Posts: 4,879 Times Helpful: 535 Status: Offline My Computer	Satire is a form of straight-faced humor used to criticize or bemuse. Check out Wikipedia for a more detailed defenition. Whether or not it's good or bad, I'd say depends on your sense of humor. But I just wanted to make it clear that it wasn't real news, but satirical mock news. Trusted computing is real though, and it is on our doorstep. And unless you don't want any say over what you do on your own PC, everyone should be concerned about it. -AT __________________ See My Desktop \| Try Linux \| Install Linux \| Visit My Server \| Support Hardware Forums \| Easily rip DVDs in Linux \| Remember Everything

19-10-2005, 06:33 PM	#5 (permalink) Top
Matt555 iMod Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Male Posts: 3,844 Times Helpful: 238 My Mood: Happy Status: Offline My Computer	Ahh okay... __________________

19-10-2005, 08:40 PM	#6 (permalink) Top
Willz MiCrO$oFt $uK$ :D Join Date: Jun 2005 Age: 19 Male Posts: 4,234 Times Helpful: 150 My Mood: Lurking Status: Offline My Computer	thats bad, count me out of getting vista >:I __________________

19-10-2005, 08:47 PM	#7 (permalink) Top
Matt555 iMod Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Male Posts: 3,844 Times Helpful: 238 My Mood: Happy Status: Offline My Computer	If you had read what AT said, It isn't true and judging by the fact that www.bushybeard.org is no longer there I think it is a bit dodgy... __________________

19-10-2005, 08:48 PM	#8 (permalink) Top
Willz MiCrO$oFt $uK$ :D Join Date: Jun 2005 Age: 19 Male Posts: 4,234 Times Helpful: 150 My Mood: Lurking Status: Offline My Computer	no, but if thise stuff does exist, count me out of using vista, i dont want to be banged up in a prison cell :o and i dont want to loose my new graphics card after spending nearly £200 on it :*( __________________

19-10-2005, 08:52 PM	#9 (permalink) Top
Matt555 iMod Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Male Posts: 3,844 Times Helpful: 238 My Mood: Happy Status: Offline My Computer	Highly unlikely it's going to happen, they can't 'blow up' people's computer because they have a Linux distro sitting around...or they have versions of Linux on their PC...i just hate whatPauline Brundle said "Isn't this just what you deserve if you're sharing files or using Linux? All PC users are evil by nature and need an operating system that treats them like the freeloading scum they are" Screw her, seriously I'm not no freeloading scum...and I'm not evil, seriously she needs to take a look around... __________________

19-10-2005, 10:29 PM	#10 (permalink) Top
ninja fetus I'm a thugged out gangsta Join Date: Mar 2004 Age: 18 Male Posts: 3,525 Times Helpful: 70 Status: Offline My Computer	i've never planned on vista anyway. i think it's a total waste of time, money, and computer resources. the recommended specs make me want to poop my pants.

20-10-2005, 06:06 AM	#13 (permalink) Top
Fred Moderator Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 23 Male Posts: 659 Times Helpful: 37 Status: Offline My Computer	Yeah, I'd rather just build a system capable of running Vista, and have an overkill Linux box!

10-11-2005, 09:34 PM	#15 (permalink) Top
Cyberwest Geek Trainee Join Date: Nov 2005 Gender: Posts: 3 Status: Offline	I really hate to tell you guys this, but that Microsoft story was pure fiction. It was part of a series called "If only it were true" which entirely consists of fictional news stories, like a guy modding his dog into a performance PC, how the Vatican has chosen ATi as its official graphics supplier, and how Nvidia SLI is actually ancient Egyptian technology. I just can't believe you've taken it this seriously.

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