Little Johnny

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Karanislove, Apr 26, 2007.

  1. Karanislove

    Karanislove It's D Grav80 Of Luv

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    Ø Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"

    The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"





    Ø The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round?"
    Little Johnny replied: "I can't. Besides, I never said it was."



    Ø Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?"

    "I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK."



    Ø A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

    Little Johnny replied, "Because people are sleeping."



    Ø One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first: it's round, plump and red."

    Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking." Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish."

    Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the teacher replies. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."

    By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."

    Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"



    Ø Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"





    Ø Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"

    His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."

    Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"



    Ø Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"

    Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.

    Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"



    Ø Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak?"

    Mum: "No it doesn't my son."

    Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ..."



    Ø A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.

    Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
     
  2. RHochstenbach

    RHochstenbach Administrator

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    Those are funny :D. Just great!
     
  3. donkey42

    donkey42 plank

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    i'd like to meet this little johnny, he sound like a mushroom[ot]bl**dy funny[/ot]
     

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