...I know it can be done, but any idea how? Ideally I want a set message to be sent to any one that emails the band's inbox, saying "Thank you for your email etc etc". It's a hotmail account, so it may not be possible. Thanks for any info.
Don't know of any method to do that directly with a hotmail account, but it can be done with a server side script like cgi/php on the site. Make a page like "email us" and make a simple form, once done you can see if your host gives you any premade scripts, thats even if they allow cgi/php on there.
there are several auto email programs.. http://www.freeautobot.com/ that is a free one, i have not tried it myself. as for hotmail they used to let you use pop3 on the free ones, now they only let you on the paid accounts.