For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At COMDEX
recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with the
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
-
For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
-
Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
to buy a new car. -
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before
you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. -
Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
you would have to reinstall the engine. -
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run
on only five percent of the roads.
-
The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal
Operation” warning light. -
The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
-
Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. -
Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls
would operate in the same manner as the old car. -
Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you’d have to press the
“Start” button to turn the engine off!
